Meta: Should I Stay Or Should I Go

I’m a queer and trans artist who shares a lot of myself on Instagram. By day I’ m a passionate and dedicated communications strategist and producer working with non-profits and community based organizations for good. By night I draw (in pen, on paper) about emotions and feelings. I share my art to start vulnerable conversations about identity and emotions, with the goal of building a more connected and compassionate culture.

Meta’s move to pre-emptively kowtow to MAGA politics by ending their fact checking program and DEI initiatives is awful, unconscionable, and antithetical to free speech. But it’s also nothing new or surprising. It’s a verbalization of harmful policies that I’ve faced on Instagram and Facebook for the last 15+ years.

Managing digital campaigns has meant enduring thousands of Meta comments filled with hate speech in my 16 years spent managing strategic communications for brands and organizations. Racist, homophobic, ableist, transphobic, anti-women – the comments got so toxic at one job that I needed to create a Slack channel to emotionally support the comment moderation team I was managing. 

And of the hundreds of formal reviews I have requested of these posts, not a single piece of reported hate speech was ever removed by Meta’s team. In every situation, the hateful comment was deemed appropriate, having not “violated Meta guidelines.” 

That’s why I stopped reporting violation reports years ago, even after receiving very personal attacks. So when Meta announced its policy change recently, I was not surprised. I was scared and angry and deeply ashamed of where capitalism has brought us. But not surprised. These platforms have been tacitly allowing hate speech against trans and queer people since go. Now they are just saying the quiet part out loud. 

So, as a queer and trans person in 2025, what do I do about the big M word? And what do I tell my clients to do? It’s no simple choice. Believe me, I’ve flipped and flopped on this more times than I can count. And the rate of indecision only increased as I started writing this. 

SHOULD I GO

My feeds are awash with heartbreaking digital epitaphs by queer and trans creators deleting their Facebook profiles and getting off Instagram. People are scared, and not ready to receive more hate. Others are unwilling to be part of a system that so actively allows users to harass and bully queer and gender non-conforming people. So folks are deleting profiles and leaving groups. 

And deleting an online profile isn’t a simple choice for most queer folks. Historically, the internet has been a place where we can find safety and freedom to be ourselves. Online connections have been a lifeline to many of us who feel unsafe in our physical spaces, and are vital to the strength of the queer community. From mutual aid to friendship to skill sharing, many queer people rely on their online networks for survival. The fact that many folks are choosing to give up these spaces, or work to rebuild them elsewhere, truly shows the fear that many in the queer community feel with Meta’s policy change. 

Physical and mental safety should be the main priority in determining where and how we remain active, online and off. 

SHOULD I STAY

I read a quote last week by author Bangambiki Habyarimana which said, “Self-censorship is more efficient than any police. You write and say not what you really think, but what you believe is acceptable. By that process we lose those revolutionary ideas that could change society for the better.” 

And it made me realize that if I silence myself on Instagram, if I share less art on Meta, if I leave the community organizing that I’m involved with on Facebook: none of these will make my life better. They may make me feel safer, for a moment, as an individual. But my community that remains will still be unsafe, and I will lose valuable connections that sustain and inspire me. I will be one less queer voice on Meta co-creating different possibilities for tomorrow. And that’s exactly what they want.

So just like I’m not leaving this country now that Trump has taken office (again), I am making the choice to stay active on Meta platforms. For now. I will continue to live as my full queer and trans self, in the world and on the internet. I will not censor myself or remove myself from my community – not before I’m required to by law or some other impelling force. It’s in Meta’s favor to silence queer voices, identities, and emotions that aren’t convenient for profit. And I’m not going to help them do it.

In 2025, I fear that receiving hate speech is a cost I have to pay for being my full self. I have been paying it for years in the physical world, and at a much-increased rate in the digital one since becoming an out- queer and trans artist on Instagram. But for me, the cost is worth it. This decision comes from a place of privilege, and one that I would not have with a different identity. It in no way is a judgment on those who decide it is safest or best for them to leave Meta.

MAYBE IT’S A BIT OF BOTH?

While I’ll be choosing to personally stay active on Meta for now, things are not a simple “this” or “that.” Any one of my colleagues or clients can attest to the amount of times I’ve clamored to them about prioritizing building diversified funnels through channels like email, SMS, and in-person organizing. And the importance of movements creating direct lines of communication – without the interference of an algorithm – between our communities. Being active on platforms like Meta means using it as a tool to accomplish a goal. It does not mean relying on them single-source to build community. 

The ways that myself and my clients use Meta will change, too, of course. I’m reinforcing my structures for community management and building new systems for comment moderation. I’m working to co-create safe corners of the internet where we queer and trans people can be their full selves, and share skills and tools. My colleague and I are working with new platforms for converting and engaging advocates using digital ads. And I’ll be actively sharing more ideas by folks who are not as safe or privileged as I to be able to be out and open on Meta. 

I may be an individual making a singular decision, but I do none of this alone. The whole premise of social justice work is that we can’t do it alone. We need diverse ideas, opinions, and realities to co-create a better reality. So I’m going to keep working with my communities, on and offline, to create a culture of kindness and understanding. And I don’t expect any help from Meta.

LET’S TALK?

If you want to talk about strategies for digital organizing, community management, or getting off/staying on Meta, email me.